Sunday, 12 December 2010

Writing is a socially acceptable form of....

"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia" E L Doctorow

I have finally bitten the bullet and started writing a novel, at the same time I have entered the world of blogging as well, which is more confusing if I’m honest – Well it’s a bit of a lie (the first bit) I started writing the novel I am working on about two years ago. I had just returned from 10 months of travelling around the world and as I  was speeding  towards my 30th Birthday I suddenly thought  “oh no….. what have I done with my life??? Like many women and some men  in their late twenties I was having a “Thrisis”, a blatantly obvious panic at the thought of reaching that milestone age without having accomplished what I really wanted to. And what exactly did I want to do, I mused.  I had certainly accomplished some things– well on paper I had - I was... am a qualified surveyor, with a degree and a masters – a completed once in a life time trip around the world, an impending wedding my own even– In fact when I mentioned my "thrisis" to my friends and  colleagues they ignored me “What is the problem?”  They asked “You’ve done quite a bit for someone your age.” 

Yes I had there was no denying that, I didn’t want to sound like I wanted the world on a stick, but this is not what I had in mind for things I wanted to accomplish. The key to a smile on my thirtieth birthday was success which by some peoples definitions I had achieved, but not to my own.

So this was why I was freaking out. But  what exactly did I want to accomplish?  The surveying, the degrees were part of a process from my A-levels to my masters they were ways of prolonging my youth and deferring the difficult decision to actually move on with my life. I hid behind the numerous letters after my name. I convinced myself it was what I wanted to do; when I sat for my Surveying interview I thought – this is it, this is what I want – as long as I pass this, get this qualification then all will be okay. I can move on have the career of my dreams- but I was flat out lying to myself- I knew deep down there was a niggling feeling that actually I didn’t really like the whole property malarkey of Surveying- the countless breakfast meetings with stuffy suits. It wasn’t me – a bit souless- when I fell in to social housing though I loved it- It was an eye opener- and most of all it had soul! Heaps of it embedded in every nook and cranny of the job. I loved it- but no after getting my prized qualification I felt I owed it to myself to step in to property development. So I applied for a development job and got it. I’m still in it! Its in social housing so its got some soul  but the crux of it is – I realised amongst  all this bad decision making that all  I wanted to do was  write (despite my bad grammar which I blame the education system for). As Doctorow implies I could do both!!! By day a developer, by night a writer unleashing a whole host of feelings and stepping into a career I really am passionate about.

That is the most important thing isn’t it?  To be happy at what you do? Going to a dull monotonous work place everyday is not what you want from life. Don’t get me wrong I like my work place- it’s the nine to five (lack of control on your own life) that I have a problem with- But I am veering away from what I had started to say.

So here I am hurtling towards 30, only 6 months left to go and my mission is to get my story told!! Well not so much my story told but my book published! So  keep an eye on this blog if you want to know how I am progressing, what my book is about (its fiction- don't worry not a whining life story), when my book will be published and all the trials and tribulations I face as I try to create a living out of it!!!

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